I'm alive.



I promise....

O Tear it back, tear it slow
Lose-yourself, lose control
Listen close, there's something you need to hear
If just this once

Everyday the same joke
I never think it's funny
Nothing's ever what it seems
The truth becomes a dream
And we reach for what we're missing in ourselves

I fought away this desperation
I've made attempts to quell temptation
I swear to God I tried
We could never compromise
You could never change me

'Cause we reach for what we're missing in:
We don't know how to let love in
Don't you cry for me
Because I'm already dead

Today I got a new shirt.

It's awesome.

( This Is One Of Those iTunes Memes )

( Here's Another One Hahahaha )

I really want to try new things. Every time I do I'm pleased. I feel like a completely different person and I love it. I can't stop smiling to myself.

I really hope our plans work out.

Has this sunk in for you yet?

How big this is?

Sometimes life just reaches out to you and shows you just how beautiful it is.

You could be doing anything when it does this.

Maybe you're hanging out with your friends and you just feel it.

Or maybe you are walking out of a coffeehouse, walking with the beat of your music, and just as you get outside and see the most amazing sunset the crescendo of your song reaches it's peak and the world spins around you like the panning of a camera in a movie. (You know the part where the hero/heroin of the story realizes how amazing life is and the camera spins around them slowly showing all the beautiful and happiness?)

It's always random... the way life chooses to reveal itself as something amazing.

But the spontaneity is part of what makes the moment so special.

I take it slow because I have time.

Sometimes I forget how completely spoiled I am.

Sometimes I think I should feel guilty for having so much when so many have so little.

And then I remember that it's only been about 2 years.

I was going to make a post.. but then it all just sounded like worthless, unimportant, shit.. so now I'm going to make a post about how the post I was going to make sounded like worthless, unimportant, shit.

First, Happy Birthday Ryan Ross.

I'm still in love with you.


Second, I think Steve Coogan is a great actor. I like him.



Third, I'm about to watch Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day and then The Ballad Of Jack and Rose.

This shit will not be turned off for days. I guarantee it.

Sometimes betterment just means more refined mayhem.

I'm happy.

You really should be happy.


You are alive tonight.

I am bored and feeling kinda creative so...

Comment and I'll write you a haiku.

Seeing Chris speak today was literally one of the most amazing moments of my life. I wish I could explain it. I admire him. He's the only hero I can ever really recall having.

He got up on that stage today for 10 people. His time was cut short because there were also some bands playing there. But he still fucking delievered.

He poured himself into it and you could tell. He made me laugh, he made my mom laugh, and he made me cry. He broke my heart. But it's not unusual. He always breaks my heart and he always makes me laugh. But he also has this amazing way of opening my eyes to things that I really already knew all along.

He said today that you can let the negative things in your life become excuses for the way you are or you can turn them around into something positive. Of course I think that's what he's been saying since the beginning.. but still, it was a great thing to hear in person.

It was great to stand there and know that no one has a perfect life and that everyone has had something in their life that scarred them. That it isn't just me.

It was great to hear it from someone else that people all too often use their hurts and pains as excuses for taking medication or getting fucked up on drugs or alcohol or whatever else. It made me feel strong. It made me want to walk right up to my old therapist's office and say "Fuck you, I was right all along. I don't need your fucking help. I'm fine. I'm a person and I've had my share of problems but they will never control my life. I will control them." Because that's always what I wanted to say to her. It was the one thing she never would understand. She always seemed to be thinking "How can someone so young have it all so figured out?" And she would say it sometimes too. It's because I was raised to believe that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes and that if you want to be a better person you just need to learn from those mistakes. You just need to turn everything negative into something positive and move the fuck on.

Seeing that man standing on that stage with tears in his eyes telling some of his most personal thoughts and stories to a room full of people, most of which didn't even know who the fuck he was, was the single most amazing sight.

Hearing the things he said was like hearing all the thoughts in my head except with a deeper voice.

I hugged him and told him he did an amazing job. I bought a shirt and the new book and a belt and I plan on curling up with that said book any minute now.

BEST THING EVER

kuvehiyrbak

that was what i typed instead of livejournal a second ago :\

( This Morning Was Gorgeous )